5 Tips for Choosing Your Wedding Vendors
If you’re here, you’ve likely seen uncountable articles and posts on social media telling you the order, timeline, and even budget to set for every vendor discipline you could hire for your wedding. So, I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’d like to offer a handful of tips—because I’m told people and SEO like lists—that will help you make sense of selecting your vendors for your wedding day.
Think of Your Vendors as a Team From the Beginning
You are now the GM of your wedding. Congratulations! It’s time to select your team. Yes. Team. Consider the interfaces between all of these people and it quickly becomes clear that how they ‘mesh’ could have a significant impact on the outcome of your day—for better or for worse.
This first reason serves as a sort of foundation for the next four. When you are no longer on the hunt for a dozen—or more—islands, but instead a team of individuals rowing in sync to deliver and document the greatest day of your life, it starts to become clear: you are now in charge of a company—of sorts—and you’re the board, the CEO, HR, all the way down to the shop floor.
That’s a lot of work. Perhaps you should remain the board of directors, and bring in some help. Enter your CEO: the planner. You’ll also need somewhere to conduct this business: your venue. With these two items secure, you can begin building your company—er, wedding. Some planners require a firm wedding date before they’ll agree to work with you, and some may be ok with helping you choose a venue if you’re firm on a date or date(s)—all of which they’d be available for. Their time is at a premium, so don’t take it personally if they won’t speak with you until you’ve got a date set. It’s a bit of a chicken/egg situation, so navigate it with common sense. If your heart is set on a specific venue and there’s nothing anyone could do to change your mind about it, then lock that in first.
Regardless of the order, you really do need to lock these two in first. Who is your CEO, your general, and where what is the stage for this incredible party? In both cases, selecting vendors and venues that align with what’s most important to you is absolutely critical, and will set the tone for everything else downstream. What are qualities or capabilities that are “musts” for these two? How about “nice to haves”? What about “must nots”?! Make these lists, and stick to them when you’re shopping for your first two vendors.
Friendors: Vendors Who Are Friends
If you’re new to the term, it’s been in use for at least as long as I’ve worked in the wedding industry, and I must admit it’s pretty cute. These aren’t your typical friendships though. While I’d normally caution you blindly selecting someone for your wedding, in this case, it may be beneficial.
See, friendors are not your typical friends. Each vendor is not just an individual; they are a company and a brand. And when vendors work together, their work affects one another’s—again—for better or for worse. This means the friendships—vendships?—are formed based on two equally important criteria rather than one: yes, there is the “liking each other” component, but there is also the second: they elevate each other’s work. When you’ve worked with someone numerous times, you develop a sort of connection and can flow quite seamlessly together without having to say a word. This is as pleasant for you as it is for us.
Vendors who like working together actively seek out opportunities to do so as often as possible, and many combinations of vendors rise in the industry together, and the best part is—at least from my experience—it’s not “cliquey”. It’s genuine, and as someone who considers themselves an outsider/lone-wolf type, even I have felt welcomed into the industry by many vendors, many of whom I now call friendors.
Style
Not only is it one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs, it’s also a thread that will run through every facet of your wedding. The style of your wedding will be greatly influenced by the features of your venue, and can also be strongly influenced by your planner’s ability to ‘make it work.’ The more connected your planner is, the more levers and influence they’ll have access to while orchestrating your special day. That being said, there’s also the scrappy newcomer looking to prove themselves. We all had to start somehow. I’m just glad it’s you making that call and not me!
Beyond venue, style becomes even more of a factor as you begin considering your other vendors; the most obvious being your photographer, but also your videographer, your florist, your entertainers, your cake designer, hair and makeup, stationary, and even some extreme luxuries like a stylist or custom dresses.
Usually, the photographer is the first creative selected. As someone who is also a photographer, I get it. My wedding photos are on the walls of my home, and my daughter often combs through the pages of our engagement and wedding albums, still amazed by the concept that my wife and I existed before she did. They’ve been the backgrounds on computers and phones, profile pictures, and they likely adorn the walls and mantles of proud parents, grandparents, and beyond. Photos are ubiquitous in a way nothing else can be, even in our modern world. So, I’m not mad about it.
That being said, there are no rules! While it’s likely that the first creative you’ll want to select is your photographer, you’ll have to make that decision for yourself. What order would you place your creatives from most important to least? If your budget is firm, and if it’s not huge, you may want to consider hiring your top 1-3 creatives at the highest price point you can afford (inexpensive/mainstream/high-end/luxury) and going a level below for the rest. I wouldn’t recommend creating too big a gap in the caliber/experience between vendors as this can create some frustrating conditions. A novice thrown into the arena with a gaggle of seasoned wedding industry vets can create some undesirable circumstances, so if you’re going to attempt this, just make sure you’ve prepared the novice as well as you can. On the flip side, they could also rise to the occasion—remember the scrappy newcomer?—and knock it out of the park. At some point I’ll write a separate piece that chronicles the weddings where I was the “hire for potential”, and how I leveraged each of those successes to climb to the next rung in the wedding ladder, but that’s for a different audience so I’ll spare you those tales today.
For the moment, let’s focus in on two creatives specifically: your wedding photographer and your wedding videographer (often called cinematographers or filmmakers as well). I call this the visual team. I’m not just honing in on this paring because I am myself a wedding videographer. I’m focusing on this because these two are going to be together all day, with you all day, and will be remembering the day for you. They need to get along (more to come on that later), they need to work well with each other, and their creative styles should be similar, or at least complimentary. Styles that mesh well aren’t just critical to having a cohesive visual gallery of your wedding. Imagine hiring a purely photojournalistic photographer and an editorial videographer. I just got chills, and not the good kind. The spooky kind. I for example, consider myself a mix of photojournalistic (true videography; capturing moments 100% organically by anticipating them), dark and moody (I’m not afraid of some shadows), and editorial (I’ll direct, pose, and light my subject when necessary). Depending on the photographer I’m working with, I’ll dial those up and down accordingly so my clients—and colleagues for the day—have a cohesive and pleasant experience with their visual buddies. You can be flexible and still execute a creative vision.
Now, zoom back out and look at your whole creative team through a similar lens. I like to close my eyes and picture things without thinking about it too much, so if I were you I may think about my color theme and how it works with the venue, or how the florals will compliment things. Picture yourselves cutting the cake: what does it look like?—or maybe you don’t want one at all. This is where platforms like Pinterest really come in handy, because until you see things together, you can’t be sure it’ll all work together, and for the money you’re spending on this day, you don’t want to leave it to chance.
The Kids Call it “Vibes” (I Think)
Vibes. Energy. Whatever you want to call it, it’s hard to deny it’s existence. We seem to bring it along with us everywhere we go, and we tend to favor certain “types” of energy. Some people are bubbly and loud and chaotic, while others are quiet and reserved (they usually marry each other too). Some of us are more positive and earnest, while others are more cynical and sarcastic. None of these things have much to do with our morals or the ethical framework we operate in, but as characters in your big day, it bares questioning: what kind of vibes do you want for your day, and do your vendors—especially your visual team—possess the correct vibes? It is worth mentioning that every time I think the word “vibe”, my inner voice applies a strong vocal fry.
The Kids Say “Let Them Cook”
I saved this for the end because it is the most important. Hands down. Pay attention. Do not ask a vendor to change their style for you. Find one whose work resonates with you, and let them create. I promise you we do our best work when we’ve been given full creative freedom.
Find the photographer who, if you literally swapped the people out of their photos with you and your wedding party, you’d love them. That’s the vendor for you, and if you can’t afford them or they’re not available, start over. It’s worth it for you and it’s worth it for them. Just as you found your perfect match, you’ll find the perfect matches for each of your wedding vendors if you give the process the time and resources it needs, and you’re honest about what you really want.